Heymans.org » anger http://heymans.org I'm Bert Heymans, a project manager, moonlighting hobby photographer and an all-round tech adventurer. Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:55:26 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 How to Deal With Angry People http://heymans.org/2009/03/how-to-deal-with-angry-people/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-to-deal-with-angry-people http://heymans.org/2009/03/how-to-deal-with-angry-people/#comments Wed, 04 Mar 2009 22:06:42 +0000 Bert http://heymans.org/?p=267 One of the things you just come by when you work with people are angry people. It’s normal, people get mad about things at times.

There’s no sense starting an argument against a

car driving away from a steaming hot exploding volcanic dust cloud wall of emotions.

Arguing just doesn’t work at that moment. It’s easy at times to go into offensive mode yourself before the storm goes down, just don’t. If someone is very very mad about something they almost certainly didn’t chose to feel like that.

Here are a few thing to remember that will help you to stay calm yourself:

  • Everybody has the right to their emotions, even the angry person in front of you.
  • Get yourself some time and give the angry person time, wait until the anger fades, only then a real discussion is possible.
  • The more compassionate you are toward an angry person the higher the chances are on a positive outcome for you if there’s a discussion.
  • It is always possible to be compassionate without yielding to an argument by confirming that it is an argument.
  • Venting anger doesn’t relieve it.

OK, I just got angry myself, now what?

  • Apologize for the angry moment, explain how you felt.
  • Realize it’s a matter of emotional discipline, learn from it.
  • It’s a natural thing, don’t be too ashamed.

Same advice goes for people who go into drama mode or start to cry. Having a strong emotion is not a choice. Deal with it in the best way you can.

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